I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
