I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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