I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
