i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
