I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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