we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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