The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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