He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
