dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
