Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
