My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
