Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
