I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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