as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
