I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
