so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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