Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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