I heard we made out
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
