Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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