you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
