I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
