Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
