They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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