Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
