no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
