We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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