but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
