Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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