I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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