I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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