The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
