Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
