idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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