I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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