im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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