It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
