So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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