Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You are the jesus of drinking
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
