he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
