The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize