Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
