Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
