all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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