I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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