I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
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Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize