i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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