I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
