The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
