DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
