Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
