So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
