its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We had sex on a dog bed..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
