I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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