I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
