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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
