Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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