Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
