he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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