yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So gin and wine won't be happening again
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
