All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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