There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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