??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think I died a long time ago.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
