There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
it's great music for shaving your balls
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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