Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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