How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
