Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
