so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
