He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
