Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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